Monday, July 16, 2007

Who Am I in My Dreams?

I have already forgotten my dream from last night, but this story is not about that dream. It is about who I am or who I become when I fall asleep each night.

Granted I have plenty of trouble remembering most of the time. Many times I am simply myself in usual or unusual situations, like going on a road trip with people I know. Few times I may not even be in the dream. Sometimes I am watching from that third person floating-over-people point of view. But sometimes I am someone whom I aspire to be.

My dream Saturday night/Sunday morning - while I don't recall the most of it including the plot line - involved me being a pilot. Well... not an experienced or even a trained pilot, but I was flying a plane. I was a co-pilot in a commercial jet. The pilot was trying to teach me how to operate the controls. Most of the buttons were labeled with labels from buttons that I have actually seen before, like on a laptop keyboard or a cash register... or an arcade game.
At some point - I think after the first landing - the pilot skipped town. I was left to pilot the plane, AND I was given a new apprentice to teach how to fly it. Needless to say, I did try to teach him, but we mostly ended up doing aerial acrobatics in our commercial airliner and landing (safely) in the water while we played with the buttons.

I often become a "me" that I daydream of being: a pilot, an undercover agent, a chef. These are all on my list of back up jobs in case I fail as an artist or filmmaker.
But what bothers me is that I have never in my dreams been a baseball player or an astronaut. These are at the top of my list. In fact, I would give up (at least for some time) being who I am now to be play baseball or go into space. But I do not dream at night of being these "me"s. I wonder if this is because actually becoming either of these seems so far-fetched or out of reach. I could be a chef quite easily, but how much closer I am to becoming a secret agent, or a pilot.

Knowing that chances are slim that I may ever play in the Major Leagues or leave the Earth's atmosphere, I would love to at least dream that I can.... even if it's just once.

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