It seems that the harder I try to forget my birthday - and how young I am each year - the more people remember it, and try to remember it, and make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. I feel like my birthday's become about the number.
I have a strange fascination in claiming to be 23 years old (or young.) After all, it was a great age to be. While it's all in good fun, some I know are put off by this as if I were playing a game reserved for older women,,, or somehow, staying young.
I do retain immature features -- a "baby face," clumsiness, a youthful sense of humor... and for those who know me well, often enough a sense of behavior close to half my actual age. Yet I can be a growed up when I so chose. Hell, I can often volunteer to play the selfless leader. (shameless plug of pride) See. Maturity at work, right?
I want all of you to know: while I am a man with fears - some of which I can admit and others I hide - I am not afraid to age. In fact, I relish in earning wrinkles, gaining wisdom, and counting days until something else happens. I cannot wait to turn 50. I cannot wait to tell grandchildren stories. I enjoy living, growing, aging...
To be quite honest, I think it's the waiting that seems to bother me. When life is moving slow, when there is little going on - eventlessness - I tend to notice that I'm getting older.. and without doing something, or being productive, or earning the life I've been offered.
Because, after all, time is not money, it's priceless.
And I feel I need to make the most of it all.
I ought to earn my hours and my breaths. Oughtn't I?
Who's counting years anyway? I'd rather my age be counted in good deeds,, in which case, I'm relatively old.
Maybe in the thousands of deeds... perhaps a million deeds old.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
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I personally have a habit of being 64, but it's all relative. Just tell everyone you're 12, but say you're not counting in years. Keep it mysterious.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Mr. Kid-O :-)
I don't think age matters. Therefore, you should be 23 for the rest of your life, if you so choose. And you should remember that people only remind you of your birthday, because they love you. Take it as a compliment, you've touched those people in ways (not at all creepy) that make them remember you on the day that you're allowed to be selfish.
ReplyDeleteOh, and sometimes immaturity is fun. I know from experience. (Lots of it).
hey i think that it is okay i plan on being 16 for a few years and the only reason we try and remember is because we love you
ReplyDeleteby the way my birthday is tommarrow. and by the way i like that you act have your age we get along better.