Want

There are a number of things I want. I know what these things are. Some I want more than others. Some are petty. Some I feel I simply need.

A Louisiana hick (read:populist) governor Willie Stark was scripted once to have said, "Sometime... a man so full o want, he plain forget... what't is he want."
Words of wisdom from a "(?)wise(?)" man...?
I'm not so sure this wasn't false. Or maybe he had us all fooled.

But I know I want. And I really want somethings. And I think I know so. And I am pretty certain what they are and are not.

At this point I'm not sure I know what I'm talking about.
3AM!... no, 4!

My Good Mornings Are Often After Noon

As I've said, I operate while unemployed on an awkward schedule. I cannot seem to fall asleep before 2AM, and I definitely struggle waking before 10AM. Of course, when others are awake in the house, I struggle sleeping too.

I seem to get more work done when everyone is a asleep. When the house is calm and quiet, I can focus on tasks at hand. I can read steadily without distraction. I can write these posts in no time. I am productive when my family appears absent. Sometimes I get lucky when they are all gone during the day. I need an office... or a place of my own.

This morning I woke at 12:40. This is in fact not morning but afternoon. My family is either gone or sleeping still on this unusual day. I've knocked a lot of my routine out in only half an hour. I am making eggs... oatmeal... and pancakes for breakfast...
or maybe just pancakes, well see if anyone else shows up to help me eat them.

Good Aftermorning.

Another AllNighter

I thought I was done with all-nighters when I graduated from college, but here I am awake at 4AM on a Tuesday night, Wednesday morning - or somewhere in between. When will I never learn? Probably forever. Who knows else what? I'm lost-ifused...

ate some ice cream that me dad had mixed hand-picked cherries into. I (h)ated it, and spit all the fruit out... of my mouth.

(((gibberish)))mumble
,
I'm tired but not sleepy
insomnirific music videos
nocturnal state not a goo-
smashing bottles over cowboys heads, and Slash on guitar
,,,whooaaaaaaaaaaaah -OA.

I feel dead in my eyes. I slept all day almost til the sun was down except it wasnt really up today(yesterday) because it was rainy all day which I liked but I slept

this is my favourite picture




little josheye

Spider Vs. Sleeping Joey, Postponed

Go figure, the only female I ever find randomly lying in my bed is a spider.
Some luck.

Had I not caught her under my covers, one of us surely would have paid for it. Tonight I chased her out.
But if she returns, perhaps we will lie awake all night talking about how much we long for the comfort of -
Yes, right.

If I ever found a random lying in my bed, I would ask her who she is and how she got here, regardless of how single I am at the time. I would heroically help her find wherever she was lost from. Fighting bad guys along the way, I would reunite her with her lost love. I would receive gracious thanks and praise from the townspeople for my noble deeds. And riding off into the sunset, preferably on a faithful steed, back to my bachelor-esque life of rescuing the people, I could be heard singing most debonairly the theme to Batman.

And if I find that spider in my bed again, I will probably have to kill it.
This makes me sound insensitive, I think to myself, as I drift into a deep slumber. The venom of her sultry sting coursing through m-

You'll have to forgive me. It's late.
And I just don't feel like deleting this because it makes me laugh.

dream 4th of july?

it would seem waking is always inevitable too.
i'm glad i could cut that dream off. i wasn't even in it.
it was like some stupid-ass reality game challenge show being filmed. i was watching all this dumb bickering going down among a bunch of characters i never even met. talk about off the wall... i'm not sure this dream was ever even on it... the wall, that is.

i'll knock it up to too much junk food before bed. and call it a nightmare.
back to sleep.

Sleep is always inevitable.

I have no idea how I manage to slip from waking up late and going to bed late into waking up early and going to bed early, and from sleeping barely to sleeping too much, back into sleeping too late and staying awake til 3-frickin-30 AM.
This cannot be healthy, but right now I am barely tired. Of course, I was having fun with the family... well, those who are still here, in Westland. Fun can trump sleep sometimes, for a while.

If I read something I will fall asleep.

Or if I simply stay... try to stay awake - no , then I would probably be awake when the sun came up. My family would keep me awake with their constant stepping on the floor, and cooking, and watching TV, and opening doors, and doing chores. I would not sleep until they left. But then, tomorrow is Independence Day. Everyone will be home. In fact, more family and friends would probably come over. I would not sleep tomorrow.

I really don't want to waste my time sleeping right now actually. I think I have enough energy to get some work done. I have a lot of photos to edit. I can write some more. I always seem to get more work done at night when the world is sleeping... at least on this third (or so) of it. The air is quiet. I don't have to listen to the rush of traffic or mass of muffled conversations... or fireworks, like the past ten days straight every night. At night when everyone else is sleeping I can find some peace and concentrate.

I didn't have this problem when I did not live with family. When I lived with friends, with people in school on the same type of schedule facing the same deadlines under the same pressure, we could find some accord, and feed off of that.

I need some more of that. I need to look for a place, a job, an opportunity to be in that kind of environment again. Then I would not have to sleep. I could pull a five-day week when I only sleep sporadically while waiting for the computer to finish its rendering or what-not it takes its time doing. I could be a pink battery-powered bunny, going and going and going until-





...





... ¬zz..

living at home is such a drag

I have not seen the sky this morning yet, and it's almost afternoon.

As the son, naturally I get stuck with a room on the basement floor, while everyone else sleeps on the second floor - parents, sister, a computer room, and even the guest bedroom where my other sister usually sleeps when she visits. She is visiting this week.

Sleeping on the lowest level of the house has its perks... sometimes. It stays cold down here year round. So while the rest of those upper level family members sweat in their high class bedrooms, I can at least retreat to my chilled hole in the floor, and wrap myself in a comforter... even in the midst of summer.

Usually the house stays pretty quiet in the mornings. My young sister goes to school before the sun rises, my father to work even earlier, my sister lives in New Orleans, and when Stepmom has not gone out in the morning, she often sticks to the second floor.
But, today is different. Dad is off work all week, the older sister is in town, the younger sister is out of school for the summer, and Stepmom wakes up with everyone else now. And everyone wakes up when Dad wakes up.

See the basement floor is cool and quiet, but the first floor is all hardwood. Every word spoken, every conversation, can be heard clear as day below. Every step that is taken echoes. Every time any water faucet is turned open, the orchestra of pipes running throughout my ceiling hiss. And when the youngest finally rises from her coffin and hovers downstairs, the screeching begins, and of course, the television begins its regular operating hours of ALL DAY.

I can usually sleep through some of this, or doze in and out, but its the water hissing that kills it.

Finally it is noon...
I think I will quietly sneak and creak my way up stairs to a bowl of cereal and a glass of sweet tea - thank you, New Orleans.
Maybe if I don't encounter any of the beasts, they won't harass me about how late they think I have "slept."
Maybe I will get a chance to enjoy the partly cloudy blue sky, some fresh air, and decide that today can still be a good day.

I'll put on my swim trunks, and have some Wheaties.