My motivation has always been bred by the doubt of others. If I am told I cannot do something, naturally I find a way to do it.
But at times I question whether this M.O. will help me reach the most ambitious goals I see for my future.
Will constantly swimming upstream prove my worth? Will I earn accolades if I always defy what is expected of me, though I only want what's best? Will earning what I believe is best set me apart and away from the people I long to have near me?
Why can I not have everything I want? Why must I sacrifice one joy for opportunity, pleasure for responsibility, myself for others? Why do I feel I ought to? Why do I feel this way?
And does this make me a good person? an ignorant man? selfrighteous?
Does or will what I do matter... ever?
Monday, January 14, 2008
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